Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
by ItsJina
Summary: This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on...  Everything use to be good...and now... It was time to leave him. Kakashi & Iruka. 'I don't wanna tell him that I love him more than life, more than life...'
1. slow dancing in a burning room

**Slow Dancing In A Burning Room**

by: Dastunninglitoanjo

**Author Note (pretty important, so please read):** Well, it's been a while since I've written anything for ...Anyways, this was suppose to be a one shot, with both Iruka and Kakashi's view points within the story...but somehow, I just couldn't fit Kakashi's POV into this part. So, depending on many things, (if I have time to write, have the motivation, etc,) I may or may not post up a second part (Kakashi's POV) to this story. I really hate leaving things unfinished though, so I may eventually post it up...

But **be warned** now that sometimes, when I lose the inspiration or motivation to write, it takes me a while to get it back.

Well, **for now**, you don't have to worry. Because I am still very much inspired to finish this.

If I change my mind, you will see this story as complete...or I will say something about it in my profile.

Sorry for the inconvenience. ^^;; **Please read**, nevertheless, if you had intended to do that.

Not quite sure how to categorize the genre of this story...yup.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or Kakashi or Iruka. I would love to own Kakashi...but sadly, I do not.

* * *

_It's not a silly little moment,_

_It's not the storm before the calm._

_This is the deep and dying breath of_

_This love that we've been working on._

_Can't seem to hold you like I want to_

_So I can feel you in my arms._

_Nobody's gonna come and save you,_

_We pulled too many false alarms._

_We're going down,_

_And you can see it too._

_We're going down,_

_And you know that we're doomed._

_My dear,_

_We're slow dancing in a burning room._

_I was the one you always dreamed of,_

_You were the one I tried to draw._

_How dare you say it's nothing to me?_

_Baby, you're the only light I ever saw..._

_We're going down,_

_And you can see it too._

_We're going down,_

_And you know that we're doomed._

_My dear,_

_We're slow dancing in a burning room._

_

* * *

_

They stood, facing each other, as if in a face off between two enemies. The atmosphere was so tense, it could've crackled with lightning. One stood by the door, having just came home from a mission. His silver hair was uncombed and ruffled, as if his hands had gone through it many times. His face, as usual, was covered with a mask, with his hitai-ate, forehead protector, slanted to cover his left eye. His right eye stared at the other man without emotion.

The other man, standing just ten steps away, stared back with a composed face. He was tanner than the other, with brown-mocha color hair, up in a ponytail. A distinguishable feature of him was the scar that ran across the bridge of his nose.

Iruka didn't expect Kakashi to come home early, didn't even expect him to come home at all. It had become a pattern of some sort, where he never came home and then on rare days, he would. Iruka had learned not to expect his presence in the house anymore, thus, he didn't sense Kakashi's presence when he did come home.

'10 steps...that's all it is to walk out of this house,' Iruka thought, trying to bring his legs to move. '5 steps to walk by him, then another 5 steps out the door.' It was easier said than done, of course.

It didn't matter that he came home now. Iruka was leaving Kakashi, at last. What once was bliss and happiness when seeing him, now just filled Iruka with pain. The beginning of their relationship was so wonderful, and somehow, it ended like how it was now.

It started 5 years ago, when Kakashi had asked him out. Iruka had been reluctant and cautious at first, but he slowly opened up to him, and Kakashi had been the same. A year passed and Kakashi asked Iruka to marry him. It was the happiest moment of his life. Another year passed with blissful moments, and, even though they both were busy with their own respective jobs, Kakashi out on dangerous missions, and Iruka at the academy, they always made time for each other.

Everything changed the next year. Iruka didn't know when did the change begin or how or why it did. Maybe Kakashi had gotten bored with him. Maybe Kakashi had changed when he had came back alive, from a mission that had went wrong. For a whole month, Kakashi was gone. Hokage sent search units in vain. Kakashi had turned up later, at the gates, passed out with severe injuries. He was never the same again.

The change was slow, and Iruka didn't notice it until months have passed, when he started to notice a pattern. Kakashi had become moodier over time, and closed off to Iruka. Conversations that used to flow freely between them was now strained and shorten. And then, at times, when it seems like things were going back to what they use to be, Kakashi would freeze up and his face going blank. The hand that was gonna caress Iruka's cheek dropped immediately and they were back to square one.

Then came the rumors. Kakashi was hanging in the red-light district at some other town, when he should be home with his partner. No one wanted to confirm it with Kakashi himself, but it was hard to ignore a silver head in a brothel house. Kakashi was doing this, doing that...doing things that he could've done if he was single, and not married.

With reliable sources, Iruka knew that it was true.

It broke his heart.

At first, Iruka tried to ignore the rumors and act as always. But it seemed that, no matter what Iruka did, Kakashi was never happy, never satisfied, never still. His eye had a cold look, no longer warm. Iruka could no longer read his mind, could no longer understand him. Kakashi was no longer the Kakashi he used to know.

Then the lonely days came. It started out with just being gone one day, where he wouldn't come home, even though Iruka knew he didn't have a mission. Then he would be back the next day as if nothing had happened. But as the year came by, one day became days, and then soon became weeks.

Their friends, all tried and failed, to get to the bottom of Kakashi's extreme new behavior. Even Hokage couldn't force Kakashi to tell her what the hell was he doing. And no one could convince him to be the same person as before.

It was a hopeless case and Iruka had to face it. Kakashi was bored with him and no longer happy with him, meaning, he no longer love Iruka.

But Iruka still love him. And with only that left, he still stayed in their home, hoping that by a miracle, his Kakashi would climb through the window and smiled at him like before.

With love, he endured the pain and smiled as usual. He endured the lonely nights where he slept by himself. And the nights when Kakashi did come into bed, he didn't stay long. He endured the hurt feeling of waking up and not having Kakashi and his warmth by his side. He endured the cold look of Kakashi, when they ever met, by chance. He endured, seeing Kakashi with other women and men.

He endured for another year. Until Naruto, the son he loved as his own, convinced him to leave it all. Naruto had been traveling with Jiraiya for a couple of years, and only just learned of what had been happening.

Naruto showed up, exhausted and panting, with Yamato at his side, who explained that when Naruto heard of what had been happening, he was so angry at Kakashi, he unleashed the Kyubi's cloak. Yamato had stopped him and brought him to Iruka.

With uncontrollable tears running down his face, Naruto sniffed and said in a broken voice, "I love you, Iruka-sensei, and I love Kakashi-sensei too. I love the both of you, because you both were happy with each other. But now, now, I hate Kakashi," His voice cracked here, "I hate what he's done. I don't understand him at all. And no one else can talk some sense into him at all!" More tears down his face. "Iruka-sensei, leave him, please. I can't stand it. If you continue to stay here, I might lose control and kill Kakashi-sensei." More and more tears down his face as he said that.

Iruka knew that Naruto didn't want to kill Kakashi...

One arm raised to cover his crying eyes, "Ugh, I'm so sorry Iruka-sensei. I'm so sorry that I wasn't here when you were going through all this bullshit." More hiccups and gasping. "I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you needed someone the most. I wasn't here to save you."

The sight of Naruto apologizing and crying made Iruka cried as well. Iruka knew full well that Naruto felt like he had let Iruka down. Tears streaming down his face, Iruka started, "Naruto..."

"Please, Iruka-sensei. You can come travel with me and Jiraiya. We are going to leave the village again in two weeks. Please, please, come with us. Forget that asshole." Naruto gave a pained smile. "You deserve so much better, so much better than this."

As Naruto broke down onto his knees, Iruka's hope for his Kakashi to come back broke into pieces. He finally realized it. He couldn't believe that it took his two years to realize that their love, his and Kakashi's once beautiful love, had slowly been dying over the years. And at last, at that moment, it had died completely.

All the flashbacks flew by in his mind instantly and Iruka bit back the pain. It took all his willpower, to stand across the man he loved, and not show any emotion. Seeing Kakashi's face brought back feelings from before, but he knew that it wouldn't last. Soon, Kakashi would just been gone again. This was the first time in 4 months since he'd been back.

Iruka almost wanted to explain where he was going and why did he had his bags next to him. But he didn't. No. He wasn't obliged to tell him anything.

Coldly, Iruka told him, "The papers are on the table. I already signed my part. I'm sure you know what to do after I leave."

Iruka say the one eye shift slightly to look beyond him and at the table. His eyes widen just a bit, just enough that Iruka could tell.

Iruka paused for a moment, then grabbed his bags. 'Just 10 steps...'

9

_Tell me_

8

_Tell me to stay_

7

_Tell me that you're back to my Kakashi_

6

_Tell me that you still love me_

5

"Goodbye...Kakashi," Iruka's voice choked at saying his name. Even up to the very last moment, he had wanted Kakashi to love him, to tell him that the past 3 years was not a nightmare and that he would make it up to him. He had wanted to hear Kakashi tell him that everything would be okay and they would still be together.

But he hadn't. He didn't even move and try to stop him. He was letting him go.

With barely contained tears, 4, 3, 2, 1, and Iruka was out of the suffocating house. Then, with a quick exhale, he did the hand signs and teleported away, to the gates where Naruto and Jiraiya would be waiting for him.

_...We're going down, And you know that we're doomed. My dear, We're slow dancing in a burning room..._

* * *

**How this story started:** Well, I started reading fanfics again and was reading Naruto fanfics. & as I like Yaoi couples, my favorite in Naruto is Kakashi & Iruka, so I love Kakashi & Iruka stories. So I thought I would like to try writing something for them. I would've like to write a happy story for them, but, this story was inspired by the song Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer. Well, I was listening to Tyler Ward's version of it when I thought of this, but yeah. Thus, this story formed.

Well, if you haven't read my **Author's Note** above, read it now please.

& let's hope I get the Kakashi's POV up soon.

&& whoops...this turned out shorter than I thought. Egah. Sorry about that...I was typing it on my e-mail...anyways,

Review if you like; if you don't like...well, please be polite if you do review. ^^;; As I said, it's been a while...


	2. love the way you lie

I'm surprised that this chapter turned out shorter than Iruka's view...even though I was sure I worked longer on Kakashi's view, lol. But of course, even though i worked long, didn't mean that I got much done each day. It was a hard part to write. Took me a while to get it together. And now, here I present you, the **final** part to this story.

* * *

Love The Way You Lie

Kakashi POV

* * *

_You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe_

_When you're with 'em_

_You meet and neither one of you even knows what hit 'em_

_Got that warm fuzzy feeling_

_Yeah, them those chills you used to get 'em_

_Now you're getting fcking sick of looking at 'em_

_You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em..._

_Talk about a sin Was the day I walked into the other side. I would run back in I wouldn't waste no time. I know it's wrong for me to say,_

_I don't need that guy by my side, I don't need that guy in my life, I don't want to talk it out, Or hold him when he cries._

_I don't want to say he's my kind, I don't want to say that he's mine, I don't want to tell him that, I love him more than life, more than life..._*

(This song actually uses girl/she instead of guy/he, but because this is guyxguy story, I put guy instead.)

* * *

It had been a while, long 4 months, since he's been home. It wasn't just from engulfing himself into missions as much as possible, but just that he avoided to go home.

But it's been too long now. He should go check up on Iruka and see how he's been doing. Kakashi knew, that each time he came home after a long absence, Iruka would be worrying to death. Iruka never questioned his actions, and was always just glad to see him.

Of course, that was 4 months ago. Who knew what has changed since? Just like how it was for him...

With a rusty key, he unlocked the door and entered noiselessly. He saw Iruka, his back to him. And by his calm composure, Kakashi knew that Iruka hadn't sense him yet. Had it really been that long, so long that Iruka didn't sense him anymore?

Kakashi took a step. Iruka tensed. _So, you finally notice me._

Kakashi didn't think that Iruka was capable of such cold stare. He was surprised, but masked it easily. He only stared back, trying to understand the situation. Kakashi saw the bags by Iruka's side. He felt the emptiness of the room, as if some things were gone from the room. And the look on Iruka's face..._Could it be...?_

Kakashi's insides burned, as if his body had spontaneously combusted. His chest hurt the most, as he came to the only conclusion: Iruka was leaving him.

He almost wanted to laugh coldly out loud right there and then. _Of course...I knew this was coming. It was inevitable._ With the way he'd been acting for 3 years, it was incredible that Iruka held out for so long.

But...it made Kakashi's chest hurt, the thought of Iruka leaving.

The air between him and Iruka was electrifying, as if the air itself could suddenly turn into a dangerous storm. Everything has changed so much. It was so different now, from what Kakashi used to thought. It was so different from how he would thought they would end up. The outcome now was so very different from what he used to thought.

It was 5 years ago, when Kakashi finally gathered his courage to asked Iruka out. He been interested in Iruka for a while. The man fascinated Kakashi, with his passion and understanding, and also fearlessness and intelligence. But Iruka wasn't easy to woo. He'd agreed to go on a date, and then reluctantly agreed to more dates after that. It was a miracle, back then. Kakashi was happy. And to think that Iruka started to open his heart to him, Kakashi returned the feelings as well.

And after a year, Kakashi knew with all his heart that Iruka was the one. He was filled with joy when Iruka said yes. The following year was filled with bliss. Happy newly-weds memories, with no concern or thought of the world.

Then, something changed. Something from within Kakashi. He wasn't sure what. One morning, he woke up and everything was seen through a new light. He looked at the man by his side, sleeping ever so peacefully, and he suddenly had a feeling...he wasn't sure what it was. It was an almost foreboding, ominous feeling, but he couldn't identify why.

Then soon, that mission that almost killed him. Everything went wrong and his teammates were killed. He was only let live, because he was the Copy Ninja. The enemy ninjas tortured him endlessly, mentally and physically, just for the fun of it and hope to use him for future use. The placed a high level genjutsu on him, making him see horrible things for days. Luckily, they didn't check on him everyday, and didn't notice him storing chakra away. When they finished their daily check up routine on him, he was able to escaped. He was too weak to attack the enemies himself though. He only had enough strength to escape as inconspicuously as possible.

His return caused a ruckus. Only after he was hospitalized and much better, did he learn that he had been gone for a month, for a mission that should've only taken 3 days.

And even with the Hokage's high level of medical jutsu, she couldn't erase away the mental pain that he had taken from the enemies. She was able to heal him physically and somewhat sooth the mental pain, but they always come back in the end.

It drove Kakashi crazy. Every night was a torture, and every day was a living nightmare. He confided in his friends and Iruka less and less everyday. He was annoyed at every single thing, he was twitchy at every movement. He knew he was hurting Iruka with his behavior. He tried to calm himself down, to relax. At times, it even worked. He would sigh in relief, smile underneath his mask at Iruka. His hand would reach out to feel Iruka, for it has been too long, but before he could, _No!_

Kakashi couldn't do it. He couldn't touch Iruka. Not Iruka, his love, his life. No, no. Kakashi was soiled, ruined, dirtied. He couldn't touch Iruka and dirtied him. No, no, he couldn't.

But the way Iruka tempted him! The concerned look, the loving look, the look that told him Iruka missed him, everything enticed Kakashi to hold Iruka in his arms! How could Iruka tortured him so! How cruel can he be? Was he patronizing Kakashi? How could he!

From then on, every look, every intention by Iruka, Kakashi questioned it with suspicion. His mind tore between believing in Iruka and threatening Iruka into telling him why Iruka was adding onto the torture on him. Kakashi couldn't bring himself to harm Iruka, but he couldn't bare to be in the same room as the temptation. He had to leave.

That's when he went to stay in brothel houses, because, they were just as dirtied as him with ulterior moves and devious plots of their own. Or he would camp somewhere, just so he didn't go home. He didn't want to go home, to go back and see that Iruka who patronized him with every single look!

No, he wouldn't go back home, not unless he was forced to. Not unless he went insane. But he probably was. Even though his mind was a mess, he still completed missions with perfection. His body was in good health. Only his mind wasn't. It was as if a survival instinct switch was turned on, and he was doing everything on auto-pilot now.

No, he wouldn't go back home...unless...sometimes, when he was sane, and he longed for Iruka. Anything of Iruka; his smell, his touch...just to see him would be enough, and would let him sleep peacefully for a night. At times, instead of bringing him suffering, Iruka could bring him a peace of mind. But it never last. It never does. How it pain Kakashi that it never does.

Nothing could be the same as it was before. The damage was done, too much.

All his kaleidoscope of feelings slammed into his mind and soul, the moment he saw Iruka again, this time, with Iruka actually seeing him too, and not just Kakashi seeing him.

The thought that Iruka would leave brought him so much agony, his knees became weak. But with his instinct taking control, he remained tall and proud and unmoved. 'It would take him 10 steps to leave this house.'

What Kakashi could do within those 10 steps...

They stared into each other for a moment that seemed to last forever, but only a couple seconds.

"The papers are on the table. I already signed my part. I'm sure you know what to do after I leave." Iruka remarked coldly to him.

Kakashi looked past Iruka and saw the papers Iruka was referring to, and on the top of the front paper, with his incredibly eyesight, he saw the bolded words, **DIVORCE PAPERS**

Kakashi reacted toward this. _Divorce...?_

The feelings came instantly. Iruka was divorcing him? For some reason, that made Iruka leaving him even more of a reality than ever. And made Iruka not his anymore. And made Iruka free.

The memories of their happy days filled his mind and Kakashi almost cried. Their blissful days were heaven compare to now. And now, there would be no more wonderful days. Iruka was divorcing him and was leaving him.

Even with all the horrors of reality, his instincts made him stood still, as Iruka grabbed his bags and started his steps.

9

_No_

8

_Stay_

7

_I'm still here..._

6

_Don't leave me...I love you_

5

At that very moment, when Iruka came, side-by-side to him, Kakashi wanted to grabbed Iruka and hold him, kiss him, reassure him, love him. _No._

Oh, how he contradicted himself many times. He wanted Iruka to stay, so badly. But after all he's done, all the pain, he couldn't bear to ask Iruka to stay for him. No, he had no right, not anymore. Iruka had gone through so much, just trying to stay in their relationship. And now, he was leaving. _He would be happier...without me in his life._

With that grudging thought, with all that willpower that was left, he forced the hand that reached for Iruka to be put back down. The hand was so close too. It was barely inches away from touching Iruka's back. _No._

He struggled inside, with his mind and heart. And pulled back his hand noiselessly back to his side.

"Goodbye...Kakashi."

Kakashi heard it. A crack. But before Kakashi could confirmed it, Iruka had rushed out of the house and then teleported away.

At last, he forgot his instincts. His legs dropped. Raw tears that burned his face came down like a broken dam. His body dropped onto the floor as he shudder and his body shook violently, as his soul comprehended that Iruka was gone. He was alone; a hollow living shell now.

Hours later, he forced himself to get up and go to the table. With a pen in his hand, he stared at the papers for a moment. He would free Iruka. He would let Iruka be happy. Very slowly...he signed it.

* * *

_I don't want to tell him that, I love him more than life, more than life..._

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note**

Well, that's the end of that. It took me days to write out Kakashi's part. What can I say? His feelings was hard to describe. Heck, in my head, it's hard to describe. You guys might be confuse at Kakashi's own confused feelings. But I hope you guys get a sense of what the heck was going on with Kakashi and why he became so...crazy. I love Kakashi, but I had to make him the bad guy, somewhat.

Well, if you guys are confused and want some _clarification_, then go ahead and PM me. I will do my best to tell you how I thought out Kakashi's feelings.

But at this point, it's up to what insights _you_ pull from Kakashi's view. What you conclude from Kakashi's view.

Anyways, thanks for reading. This was challenging to write, but worthwhile, I say. It's my first story dedicated to Kakashi & Iruka. Though it's not a happy ending that I would love to have, it's an ending for this story.

The songs in the beginning are Love the Way you Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna & That Girl by David Choi.

-Jina


End file.
